What if...?

What if there had been no special baby born in a cave under the stars? What if all we had had to celebrate the past few thousand years were millions and millions of babies born under the stars -- small humans, growing into wise humans, with no special being to mediate between us and the heavens, no special being given the task of uniquely loving, laughing, bleeding, dying, rising? What if there were just us, the lovely earth, the watching
stars? What if.......?

What if all the love and tenderness for earth and each other had to come from us alone, witnessed only by the stars? What if the gods themselves have decreed that we alone hold responsibility for the wonder and fragile beauty of this planet? Could we not then do a better job of all this? -- with no one to fall back upon but ourselves? I'm not suggesting that there are no deities or Watchers out there, only that perhaps we have too long depended upon rescue from "out there" instead of focusing upon the innate wisdom and compassion long ago seeded within us.

In this season of Light's birth from the all encompassing, holy, pulsing Darkness, perhaps we could remember that what's really being born, hopefully, is our own ability to mature and navigate gracefully through both Darkness and Light, for the dance between these seeming opposites profoundly enriches the deeper wisdom lying too long unclaimed within us.......

Source

Time, at Holiday Time

Are our Holidays supposed to be, like the old fashioned photo, at the left? Wouldn't it be nice if they could be? But, that's pie-in-the-sky dreaming. No one's Holiday Time is as quietly lovely as that. Oh well....

But unless we want ours to be a 'horror,' we have to grab the reins. Presents have to gotten and wrapped, no matter how I wish for less of them. Less is not going to happen, this year. Get over it. Get the present 'thing' done and out of the way and grab my own peace, that way.

But.... And there's always a 'but.' If one adds activities, one has to subtract some others. We don't get more than the usual 24 hours, just because we want/need to do more stuff. S0000 - what has to 'give'?

With me, it's my Net Life. Cutting back on it some, that is. I already spend too much time on the Net, 24/7. Yes it's fun. But yes, it can get less so, at times too. No question, at this time of year... Something has to cut back and that something is my Net Life Time. -sigh- This is always bitter-sweet for me. Yes, more freedom feels good. Especially when there are necessary things to fill the free time. But I'm always torn, when triaging Net Time.

So ~ I'm always that way. Live with it! :-) But learn to do it gracefully or not, I have to do it.

Photo Credits

Carp Diem!!!

Carp diem!!!

Yesterday I went to the wake of a 41 year old wife, mother and daughter of a friend of mine. And had been to the wake of this friend's sister, only a few weeks ago. But her sister was in my H.S. class and had lived life. Whereas this woman was so very young. This wake, was much harder. So much harder.

I am sorry for her husband, daughter and all her extended family. But I feel the most for her mother. Such nice people. So many heartaches. More than just these two... And yet she goes on. My heart just aches for her.

What I take from all deaths, is the desire to live my life fully. And what I take from this kind of pain to a nice family, is... there is no one "up there," watching over us. Or giving us rules. Or having a happy or a painful place waiting for us after death, depending on how we follow "the rules." Perhaps a Creator 'banged the big bang.' But if so, our huge Universe was then forgotten. And left to evolve on its own, in whatever way happened.

And we tiny little beings, who evolved on this one tiny speck of a planet, in the huge Universe, we are of no interest to this Creator. {If there was one.} And there are many reasons to see glitches in the work of such a Creator, even though everything is quite amazing, at first glance.

Anyway, for me and people like me, this belief is actually more easy to live with, than all the so-called-comfort, derived by people of faith. I don't have to see myself as "fallen." Or see the Earth as just a short stop, while waiting to die and go to some paradise. I can see the Earth as it is. Full of wonder, but not perfect. And that's just the way it is! No need for reasons for this or for that. No supposed "revealed rules" to follow. I'm able to use my own mind to figure out how to live my life.

If people need/receive true comfort from their religious beliefs, then good for them. I do not ask them to stop, so doing. What I do ask... Is that they do not preach their views to me. That they live their life. And let me live mine.

Late Rose...

It can be hard to not feel like this rose... In November... In later years...

One could say that this rose is still beautiful, in its own way. Having lost much of its former rose-beauty. But still having color and the fortitude to hang on. Both ~ good traits, at any age.

But ~ Show me any rose, which doesn't remember the beauty of the bloom. Show me any rose, which can fully release from a bit of longing, for those days. Even in the glory of full, lush Summer, the memory of Spring lingers. And so, it's all the harder to deal with heavy frost. Knowing that snow comes next. Knowing that no new Springtime will come... One circle. Each rose gets only one circle to complete. And all roses have to come to grips with this fact, eventually.

A rose will at times, pride itself on being content in every season. Focusing on the beauty of the season of "the now." Not longing for the season past. Or worrying about the season to come.

But, sometimes, it gets harder...

And when things are harder, is when we have to work harder. It's easy to slide by, in easy times. Not much effort needed. But if we can still smile, in the harder times... When lots of effort is needed... Perhaps more joy can be taken, in those times of work. The good attitude we maintain, is bought at a higher price. And the old saying is ~ Nothing worthwhile comes easily. :-)

Sounds good, anyway...

So keep smiling. Keep looking for the positive, even in the early frosts of Winter. After all, the alternative is unthinkable. :-)

49 Years!!!

49 years, Baby!!!

November 8, 1958

November 8, 2007

^_^

I write. But do you understand?

Sometimes I wonder how we ever make ourselves clear. When I write an impression/feeling of mine, I am the one who owns the impression/feeling. I understand it. But for you to understand it, depends on my choice of words. I have to convey what's inside me, by the written word. A big job! When we think of it...

The combination of words can sound marvelously expressive to me. But maybe they aren't clear to you. I don't know how you would combine words, to tell me of your impression. So how can I know how I should combine words, to let you see/feel mine?

But why do I say this? Words are words. They have a meaning, stated in the dictionary. Do they? When I even say a color..... Red for instance.... How do I know that 'my Red' is 'your Red'? I don't.

When we're talking face to face, we can stop the other person and say.... "Let me make sure I'm getting this right..." If we happen to feel confused, that is. But what if we simply take in, our own impression? Again, how do I know that I got across to you, my feeling/impression? I don't. And with the written word, there's no ability to stop and clarify.

I'm not going to keep up this line of thought. If I did, would I ever write another word?

If I never wrote another word, would I be able to stand it?

,-)

Possessions...

With all the news of the terrible fires in California... I've been struck with thoughts of.... all those possessions we have in our homes. Or our apartments. Or where ever we live. We feel so secure, when we enter our abode. Or we hope to. If we don't, we plan so that we may one day feel safe, secure, happy, relaxed, peaceful.... 'at home' in our abode.

Naturally, we grow attached to it. And to all the objects we keep in it. Of course the people and pets are more important than the 'things.' We know this, intellectually. And everyone says; "It's only things" when any of our possessions is lost or damaged. It's only a thing. And we know it, intellectually.

But...

Imagine losing everything, contained in our abode. Walking away and coming back and not finding anything there. It's a terrifying thought, isn't it? It's almost too terrifying. And yet, all of it, is just things. How do we reconcile the terror.... with the "It's-just-things"... ?

Would we lose our memories, if we lost all the family photos and family films and trophies and saved momentoes? Would our memories no longer be there, if not for some tangible piece of paper or file on a computer hard drive? No. But yet, we shrink from thinking of having all the tangible sentimental stuff, gone.

Is this hard wired in humans? Is it too much to expect that we can ever fully rid ourselves of our love of our 'things'? Is that asking too much? Yes, we can try to pare down the total amount of 'things' we really need. But can we ever hope to get the number, to 0? Is that just too much to even contemplate?

Of course there are no swift answers to such questions. Of course not. And each person's answer would be unique to him/her. And to their time of life. And to many changeable things. But..... How do these thoughts strike you, right now? How does it make you feel to contemplate the loss of everything?

Then again, we all will face that day..... Sure as night follows day and spring follows winter. We all will lose all our stuff, someday. Without being in any way spiritual or religious... I wonder if now and then, we all could do with some contemplating, the loss of every thing? Maybe so the 'big one,' doesn't come as such a shock... ,-)

So far.....

I made changes in the template here. And so far, no "chips have fallen." {No problems with commenting here, have been told to me.} Previously, in my 'smilnsigh' blog, when I changed my header, template, colors, etc...... some people who used to be able to comment there, couldn't any more. :-( What a mess!

I ran around trying to find out the 'why' of this. And finally, gave up. And of course, when I gave up, some of the commenting issues seemed to evaporate.

But, I still don't have any firm answer as to why they happened. Nor can all comment there still... Some used to come to my other 3 blogs, and make their 'Smilnsigh' blog comments. But that was probably a chore. I'm sure some simply stopped reading. Which is logical.

So all in all, that is why I was worried about changing the 'look' of this blog.

But I really had the urge to make this one, very different looking from my others. And so, I did it! And I like it, for a change. A very different 'look' for me, but different can be fun. :-) But then, I haven't make any more entries here. :-( So how would I know, if many can't comment? Plus, I don't think many of the readers of 'smilnsigh,' come over here. I know, having 4 blogs can be overwhelming. And so, probably silly of me to do it. But..... I had a different view of what each of my blogs, were 'for.'

The original 'Smilnsigh' blog was for gentle pictures, talk, recipes, bits of this and that... Then came 'Seasons Snapshots' for just what it says.... Pics taken, through the different seasons of the year. And then, came Photos-City-Mine which was made to chronicle places around my city. I love my city and I love that we have learned to preserve and cherish our buildings' Victorian heritage. Before too many were lost to decay and the wrecking ball. -sigh- Not all were kept. We did lose some beauties. Such a sorrow! But around 30 years ago, we came to our senses and began to realize that we had unique things here!

Our city was in need of all the help it could get, at that time. Some of we locals set to trying to encourage work to fix up and preserve our downtown. And to encourage all building owners to try to preserve. And to renew a sense of 'pride of place.' It took much work and dedication, but it worked. And for years now, our city has been a magnet for people. For a vacation, and all the way down to just a day out. Strolling our Victorian downtown... Shopping in so many unique shops... Enjoying our numerous eating places... Etc. Because, along with the preserved beauty, it is a safe downtown to walk in. And to have conventions in. Safe is a big draw! And we love it, for this reason too.

I can't close this, without saying that we've always been famous for our mineral springs and for the oldest continuously running race track in the country. The race track's Victorian ambiance has {so far} been preserved, even while being modernized in many ways. Our springs still flow, too. Etc. But for many locals... it's the whole package. The package of preservation. Preservation for us. And for our children. And for our children's children. We hope.....

And then came this blog... for a bit more musing, than I do in my others. And that had better be enough blogs! ,-)))

Time to try changes...

Yes, time to try changes... And let the chips fall where they may. ^_^

Changes...

Do I dare make any changes to the 'look' of this blog? Trouble abounds when I made changes in my main blog.... What would happen, if I did some here?

But does it really matter if I do? Not many read here, as far as I know. There are very few comments and comments are the only way I can tell if anyone stopped by. Maybe there is some sort of hit-counter for seeing who simply clicks in here. But I've never mastered anything like a hit-counter. So... comments remain my only clue.

So.. will I get brave and try for some changes?

Not today. It's now high time I hung up my keyboard for a while. And go to some Real Life things. Expecially since it's damp and rainy and it really feels like going back to bed. ,-) Which I really can't do today. So, I'll continue to just cogitate on what kind of changes I might want to make here.... If I decide to go through with it...

And who cares...???

Headline...

And who cares?

Not I.

Though born and raised and living for 63 years, believing this stuff...

And living in fear of it.

I don't any more.

And I don't allow anyone or any entity, to dictate to me.

Do you?

Decor...

I love to see how people decorate their homes! Love to see it in magazines, books, on tv, film sets, on the Net, etc., etc., etc. Love it! I don't always resonate with every style, but it's still so much fun to look.

Recently, I've noticed some French on-line-journaling sites and something struck me. I've been seeing monochromatic decor, in their homes. Now, whether this is an all-over trend... Or it's just happening in the ones I happen to have read or run across, I don't know. But I've noticed a lot of pale Gray tones.

I'm more used to seeing the decor of homes in my own country, in most of what I see daily. And it has lots of color and lots of 'things' around. Colorful pictures on the walls and wreaths and collections of this and that and... Well, lots of 'stuff' and action of color. Very different in the French on-line- journaling sites... And it got me wondering... How come?

I wonder if the monochromatic look, is there for the peacefulness it brings? Maybe all of life outside, is viewed as rushing, loud, chaotic, etc. And the peaceful opposite, is viewed as being surrounded by soft mono colors inside the home? Maybe?

But life out in the world all over, can be very loud, chaotic, restless, etc. Including in my country. How come we still tend to have lots of color and 'things about,' in our homes? If the color choice is one which resonates with the inhabitants, does this impart as much home peace and restfulness, as the monochromatic look imparts to others?

Why does our decorating often {but not always} include many, many collections? While the French look seems to be a choice of very small collections, placed in particular places? Not lots and lots and lots, I mean? How come that, too?

Now I know that on the scale of things to ponder, these are very "small pickin's" of pondering topics. ,-) But I did ponder them. And what's the use of having an on-line-journaling site with the name of 'In the Mind of a Grandmother,' if I can't write about "small pickin's" of pondering
too?!? ,-)

Mellow fruitfulness...

Vibrancy...









Color...








Fun...






How can one not feel good/better/perkier, on a beautiful Autumn day?!? Sunshine, bright Fall flowers, pumpkins by the acre, seasonal door wreaths, kids playing in the pumpkin patch, bees buzzing among the flowers, an occasional butterfly floating by...

Don't know if it would work for everyone, but it surely did, for me. And not a moment too soon. ,-) But then, I always love Autumn.

"Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness..."

Since entering the Autumn of my life, and finding more freedom of thought then, I've really loved Autumn even more. I see it as a lovely way to view myself, at this time. Don't tell me that it's an exaggeration! ,-) In my mind, I can exaggerate as much as I want to! ,-) I can view myself as walking through mists. And as encompassing the mellow fruitfulness of having lived long and experienced much. Especially since I've given myself the right to experience even more! Things which were just an interest, a faint dream, a fantasy, to be read about... I've make my own experience. If not now, when? has become my motto.

No, not all my seeking out experiences has been totally win-win. But that's part of living life fully, too. Not everything that "looks neat" from the outside, is "totally neat" from the inside. We get. We give. We gain. We lose.

But at least, in the trying/experiencing, we live!

Yet again, my views. I'm not saying that all should agree. So... Your comments????

Please ask...

.
The President of Iran will speak at Columbia University, in New York City.
.
Would some liberal [and free, btw] Columbia University student, please ask him; "Would President Bush be invited/allowed to speak at an Iranian University?"
.
Hehhhh...

How to.........?

How to be free to laugh, knowing others cry? How to learn that it's OK, to live a comfortable life, knowing others can not? How to drop the feeling that one should not totally enjoy such a life, because there are others, less fortunate? How to drop the feeling that empathy demands, that we cut some of our own parcel of joy?

Many would answer.... help the less fortunate. Work to alleviate their suffering. Support one's favorite cause. Yes, and no. Yes, we can do these things. But how/when do we really lose that nagging feeling that we ourselves, shouldn't really be contented? How/when do we totally convince ourselves, that it's OK to fully enjoy a contented life?
If we're lucky enough, that fate has rolled such dice, our way?


When do I fully allow myself to sing, when many can not?



This is a recurring question, in my mind. I know I've not stated it as best can be. My mind isn't clever enough to say it first or to say it best. But I just seem to have to keep saying it. Or asking it, rather... It's a work in progress, I suppose.

Wick ~ consumed by fire

There are times, when I become a wick in the center of a burning flame. A wick, being consumed by fire. These times pass. Good thing. I'd not be able to sustain myself continuously, in this state.

How do some, do that, I wonder? Stay in the state of being on fire. For a cause or a purpose or whatever. If it's a purpose I deem good, more power to them. If it's a purpose I deem evil, no power to them.

Life in a ring of fire, takes a toll.

I'm glad I can still be so consumed, at times. I don't desire the state, to be a constant though.

What can set you on fire?

Today....

Today is not easy. This whole week, and next week, are not easy. But I'm determined to not get drawn into anger, or 'going ballistic', or any of many of my usual actions... When 9/11 rolls round again.

I hope to be vigilant. I hope to not take for granted any of the freedoms I enjoy today. Not take for granted any of the joys which come my way today. Remember to be grateful to all who protect and insure my way of life, today.

And remember to SMILE!

Because to become preoccupied with worry, anger, 'going ballistic' and etc. ~~ is to let them win. And I refuse to 'give an inch' to those who would destroy Civilization!

Please..... Come join me! :-))))

When are we ever, free to be me???

When are we ever free, to be me? When are we ever free to be the person, we fully are? Did you spend yesterday, totally being yourself? You never changed what you wanted to say, to accommodate someone's feelings? Or to fit in, with those around you? Or to "Keep The Peace"? Or... a million other reasons. Can you even remember a day when you did not change something about yourself, for one reason or another? When we stop and think about it, we do a lot of changing of ourselves... Well, of how we are perceived by others.

There's the rub. We only allow certain people to perceive us, as we feel they want to perceive us. For whatever reason, our relationship with them, is more important to us, than our relationship with ourselves. And this brings us to the sometimes nasty sounding matter of different personas.

Persona...(in the psychology of C. G. Jung) the mask or façade presented to satisfy the demands of the situation or the environment and not representing the inner personality of the individual; the public personality (contrasted with anima)

Hmmm, does that sound sort of nasty? For a long time, what that word {'persona'} brought to my mind was 'Sybil'. Or 'Three Faces of Eve'. Multiple Personality Disorder. And I shied away from its use. Even though I could see 'persona' as not having to mean Multiple Personality Disorder. But I bowed to society and kept my version of it, to myself.

My version of it? What all of us do everyday. We hide part of who we are, for some reason or other. And we have no concern about so doing. Probably, because we don't stop to notice. Lots of people probably pride themselves on always being just who they are. Or at least, always attempting to be the 'perfect person' they feel they are called to be.

They'd be upset if someone said that lots of people have different sides to who they are. That they hide certain sides, from certain people. Show certain sides, to certain people. And easily keep everything straight. Even when there is no person, to/with whom, they can simply and totally be themselves. And this is fine with them. :-)

But once in a while, the strain begins to show.... It's gets so 'old' to keep putting one 'persona' out here, and another 'persona' out there. On and on and on... Tiring. It gets tiring. And some of the facade cracks. A bit... Here and there...

Sometimes when this happens, there is panic. And wild scrambling to fix the crack and not let it grow or linger. And sometimes, the panic seems silly. Is it really worth all the effort? What if some don't like some aspects of one's self? Is this the end of the world? Does it make that much difference, in the big scheme of things? Will it matter a twit, in 10 years? Or in 1 year? Or tomorrow even?

And sometimes, the answer is "No, it will not." :-)
And those moments are gloriously freeing.
There has always been a high, from throwing caution to the winds.
Get some old juices flowing, again.
Puts some much needed excitement back, into our usually dull existence.

>,-)

Autumn Ponderings...

'Tis really Autumn now. I didn't tweak those colors above. In sunlight earlier, Autumn's riot of late colors, was very evident. I'm so happy that I got up and out, early! As I said, the sun was coming up then. By now, cloud cover has moved in and it's a wee bit grayer looking. Not quite the joyous and riotous look, of earlier in morning sunlight. And this brings me to my point....

Yes, I love Autumn. I love the crispness which replaces Summer's heat/humidity. I just don't do well, in humidity. Wonder if it's due {in any way} to my ancestor background being all from more Northern climes {Scottish, Irish, German and Austrian} than Southern. No Mediterranean blood in my veins. Possible, I suppose. Not probable but possible. :-)

But Autumn's beauty, under gray skies, could be a bit sad. Mmmmm... Now that's not a fact to be taken lightly. And have I had this feeling before, I wonder? In past Autumns when I was progressively younger?

Mmmmm... Now we come to the gist of my thoughts! How to not let a later Autumn of my life, sink into sadness.... Sadness brought on, because it is a later Autumn, in the Autumn of my life span???

I always feel that the best way to tackle a problem, is to notice it first. Even a possible problem. Nothing can be dealt with, unless we admit it is there. Only after admission, can we do anything to alleviate it.

OK, I saw it.

Now what...?

Relaxed today...???

Could I actually be feeling more relaxed? Really, really, really? :-) Even with the Full Moon approaching? :-) How totally wonnnnnnnnnnderful!

I don't know the reason for this relaxed feeling. And I'm not digging too far, to find it, either. I'm just going to luxuriate in it. ,-)

Why aren't I always relaxed, you ask? After all, I'm a 'Nana' and don't have a growing family to care for and juggle their schedules. And I don't have lots of 'taking-care-of-Grands' in Summer anymore. The two who come here are bigger and take care of themselves and don't need lots of Nana-directions and all. Plus, they have Summer jobs, which keep them busy at times also. So there isn't that 'can't-wait-till-school-starts' feeling, which I have had in the past. ,-)

But no matter who you are, or at what stage of life you are, we all have some duties. And we all have plenty of things to worry about, if we want to let ourselves worry. That's just life. A fact that's taken for granted. Never to change. Just grab the easy/calm times, and don't let any slip by, unnoticed.

Then again, since I don't view Summer as my most favorite Season, and am not really *bummed out* when it is winding down... And since I do love Autumn... And like to look forward to and watch for Indian Summer too... Well, I can see how this time of year, is not a low time for me. It's still a look-forward-to-my-fav-Season time of year. And this has to help.

I have read people who are really sad that Summer is ending. And I know this has to be difficult, to handle with ease. And I feel for them. But..

Today I'm not in the mood to feel bad at all. ,-) I'm in the mood to feel good and relish the fact that I feel relaxed!!! To look forward to celebrating the changing of the Seasons. To look forward to the glorious, abundant, joyful, total ripeness of Autumn.

I really hope you are too....

To be ourselves...

Corey's blog is always a joy to visit. Her entry today, is no exception. She calls it "The Secret about Happiness." Which of course, covers it. But I happen to like the words about exploring the freedom to be yourself.

Do we really give ourselves that freedom and that right? I know I don't, all the time. I talk the talk but fail to continuously walk the walk. If you do, wonderful! Please share how you got to this point! Please.

If you're not there yet, or even if you have no wish to get there, please share these things too. I do want to get there. So I'm happy to read of all who have. One can always find new ideas. That's one of the joys of 'Pretty Blog Land.' Finding the ideas of others, which resonate with our own.

Not all do. Not all ideas resonate with all people or with all on-line-journaling readers. That's fine. That's wonderful. The world would be a dull place if we all marched to the exact same drummer. But now and then, we have an 'Ahahh' moment, when what someone says... sounds so good to us. And of course, we want to return to that on-line-journaling place and hope for more, in the future.

Trouble is, I often wish I could contact that person immediately and talk about the topic which 'grabbed' me. {Yes, one of my *vices* is... wanting to do many things, immediately. And one I have to quell.} But that's a story for another day...

So today, I'd love to begin a little conversation about the topic of "Letting ourselves be ourselves." With hopes it will spark some chat, here.
.
Posters

Summer ~ moving swiftly...

Summer feels like it's rather swiftly moving to the fullness of Late Summer. Which then progresses to the lush fullness of Autumn. I love Autumn. Always love Autumn. But ~ am I ready for it yet? Does this almost too swift progression feeling, make me a wee bit sad? Should it do so?

It I say I love each Season, as it comes ~ then why be saddened by signs of approaching change? Perhaps because it reminds me that each of my Autumns enjoyment, is now more closely numbered... All the coming Seasons of a Grand-mère are numbered... And the number adds up to less and less, with each passing year.

But that's just life. No amount of angst will change it. No amount of wringing of hands over it, will change it. So..............

So, seems as if the best thing to do is ~ Make sure I enjoy each and every moment of each and every Season, which comes my way.

But then, isn't that what all should do, at all ages and stages of their life? Sure it is, most would say. Why don't we? Why don't we pay more attention to each moment, earlier? Isn't a moment lived at 12, as precious as a moment lived at 29, or a moment lived at 50, or a moment lived at 70? Why do we tend to fritter-away so many moments of our life, until the later ones come along? Funny. Funny, we humans are. How did Shakespeare say it;
"What fools these mortals be."

Empathy

"Question"
~~~~~~

Empathy... --noun

The intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
~~~~~~

Feeling how others feel... This at least, sounds good. On the matter of attitudes though, seems we ought listen to others, but form our own attitudes. But that feeling and understanding others, sounds like a good thing to have plenty of. After all, no one wants to be thought of as a "hard hearted Hannah" {unless you're from old Savannah} .-). And paying no attention to anyone or anything, but one's own world of experience and feelings, isn't usually thought of as being the best of human traits.

But can one have too much empathy? Especially for the sorrows of others? Can it become hard to put aside? Hard to enjoy one's own life's joys, for dwelling on the sorrows of others?

Asking the question...

Image from this web site

From: 'Reflections On The Art Of Living'

Finally found something I'd been looking for... among my Joseph Campbell books.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Almost anyone making a transition would have an experience of shedding the old skin. Suppose you have shed the serpent's skin but want to leave some tagged on the end. This is a major problem. It is an anxiety that has to do with what's back there. You have to know enough to cut it off. You have to know what it is that's hanging on: the old skin that is being peeled away gradually, bit by bit, like taking off a bandage without pulling all the hair."

Sri Ramakrishna, talking about this fundamental stage of renunciation--"going into the forest," in the Indian system--speaks of three kinds of renunciation."

~~snip~~

"The first is gradual renunciation. That's where you know the time is coming, you take advice from your guru or chaplain or whatever, you think it out, make arrangements for the place you're going, and so on."

~~snip~~

"The recommended one is gradual renunciation. That means getting quit of what you can in a decent, organic way. You can even take with you a few little responsibilities, with the understanding that they are terminal--you're not going to add to them. The responsibilities that you add will be those of your own new condition, whatever that may be. "

"Now in my case, I leave for the forest, as it were--actually, for Hawaii--with three volumes of a book to do, but it's still renunciation: I've cut off my lecturing, and I'm settling in out there with my library and my notes, and I'm just digging in. Renunciation is literally a death and a resurrection. It wasn't easy writing letters to people I'm fond of, people I like working with, and saying I wouldn't be able to go on these lecture trips."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For myself, I have liked this view {of Joseph Campbell}, for some time. It seems to make sense to/for me. Of course, we aren't going anywhere. No Hawaii for us. We know we are staying in the same home, in which we raised our family. This mostly, because fate has had it that 8 immediate family members {son and daughter and their families} live right next to us, and the next house down. So this is almost a Family Compound. And the remaining son/family, live within minutes of us. No reason for us to move. Not even a reason for us to downsize to my beloved dream of a cottage. :-) And with this, I have come to terms.

I know that Joseph's view, would not resonate with everyone. And I'd love to hear some other people's views of what the later time of life, means to them. And what they plan for it. Or what they are already living, in their own later time. I'm always open for new ideas! :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Joseph Campbell Companion

Choosing to Age Well

"Choosing to Age Well"

That sounds like a good topic, to me at least. :-) I was looking for such, and found "Invoking the Sage" ~ "Choosing to Age Well" ~ a seminar at The Center for Story & Symbol.

I'm not going to a seminar but this site contains many seminar titles. Plus, each has a reading list. To find the reading list for "Invoking the Sage," you go to this link and scroll down to the bottom of the page. I was able to find some of the titles, in my library system. To read them all, would probably be a daunting task. But I'll get some out and take a look-see.

Any/all help I can get on the topic of choosing to age well, will be gratefully looked at by me. Dip in. See what I can find. Read what resonates. Move on. :-)
---------------------
Update on my last entry ~
I haven't formulated my decision, as yet ~
Will post, when I do ~

The right to play ostrich...???

I've been playing ostrich... Not allowing any news into my line of vision. Staying in the beauty of the Season. Reading only in "My Pretty Blog Land." Avoiding all sources of 'what's going on' in the country and in the world.

It felt good. It felt lovely. Don't I have enough troubles to deal with, close to home so to speak? Sure I do. Sure we all do. No one lives, in any form of a purrrrrrrrfect world.

But.... It hasn't been totally easy to stick my head in the sand. I keep remembering all those, who can't. And I want to deal with this personal conundrum .... By posting about it, maybe... But that's easy to avoid doing, too.

Until... Until I read this....
~~~~

"After years of head scratching and wrong conclusions about what is wrong with our society, I may finally see the answer. Based on the collective inability by an alarmingly large segment of our population to figure out that for us to survive we must defend ourselves, a likely explanation is put forward: too many among us are either clinically insane or so self-absorbed in their quest for the next fix that they have basically the same mental capabilities as the insane. Are any of these folks able to defend themselves in any way? Are the rest of us seriously expected to defend them, particularly those who are in their misery because of their own actions?"

"Those who do not react appropriately to threatening situations must have broken whatever it is that allows the rest of us to correctly ascertain whether we should stand to defend ourselves or run away. We seem now to have a huge group of people who instead of either of those choices now wants to just hang around and talk about it. They seem to maintain a pretend world where they simply choose not to contemplate being in a situation where they might break a nail or be otherwise inconvenienced in the slightest."

"How nice for them that they never have to face reality. They seem confident that the rest of us will fix everything for them, with no effort at all from them. Dream on!" ......
~~~~

So, is that what it boils down to? That I am so absorbed in living only in the beauty of the Season, and in gathering {what I figure to be my} just desserts of a comfortable Golden Years time... That I delude myself into thinking that All-Will-Turn-Out-OK-Eventually. Because Someone-Will-Handle-It. ???? Do I join those I don't usually join... In the futile wish to just live, and hang around and let someone else keep talking about problems? Making myself believe that someone, somewhere, somehow will figure it all out and make everything nice again...?

Have I really become that shallow and that juvenile, that I can believe this will work??!!?? -sigh-

Wondering if I am alone, in this pondering...? And if anyone else, has solutions...?

Illustration from Nancy Steinbock Posters

"Oh me, oh my, how awfullllll"

Have you heard it said, that no random act of bad luck... No unpleasant words directed at us... Nothing can really effect our mood and outlook? Our mood and outlook are entirely dependent on how we view, react to, and deal with all random acts of bad luck and hurtful speech. {Do you 'swallow' this?}

After all, a bad headache is a bad headache and it hurts... No matter how good an attitude we have about it. And cruel words hurt, no matter how we rationalize why they were said. No matter how much we do not accept this person's bad view of us. Yes, they do. In themselves, these 'hurts' hurt.

But do we make ourselves be in a lot worse shape and in more pain, by our own view of them? By how we deal with them? In other words, can we "awfulize" all over the place and thus, make ourselves hurt even more? Can we keep the pain, front and center in our minds, and never try to distract ourselves from it? Can we dwell and dwell and dwell on the 'bad luck'... And on all the possible reasons it befell us?

Or with the headache, can we seek pain relief? And even when the meds don't fully relieve it, could we try to fill our minds with some personal pleasantness, and refuse to dwell and dwell and dwell on each jab of the pain? {I don't know, can we?}

In the case of someone saying disturbing things about or to us... Can we work on how we react to this? Telling ourselves that we are not all that bad. The person is mistaken or prejudiced or just plain malicious. Or even, if we do agree that we are exhibiting some of the disturbing behavior we're accused of.... Well, we can make up our minds to work on not doing it, in the future. If we can react in our chosen way, then it's not the vicious things said of us, which can bring us down. It's how we react to them being said. {I don't know, is it?}

Do we have to dig and dig and dig, to find all the past reasons for our being angry or depressed or etc.?

Or could we work on dropping all the blame-of-things-persons-past? And work on ourselves, in the present? No matter how people were unkind to us, in the close or distant past, we don't have to keep this front-and-center in our minds, in the now. No matter how much 'bad luck' befell us, in the distant or near past, we don't have to keep dwelling on it, in the now. {Do we?}

Could we try this different approach? Would it be worth a try? Does it have a chance of working? Have you ever considered this? Tried it? Did it work? Did you give it your 'best shot'? If you worked more on it, could it maybe work better, in the future?

Or is this all more 'pie in the sky' type advice/thinking? {I don't know. Please tell me your view.}

Rainy days and Mondays...

It's raining...

I want light...

I want the sun...

Will lamps do...?

Maybe today is really a day for rain outside....

And for lamps, inside...

For the cozy feeling, which this gives...

Why do I need light...?

Is it in the nature of humans, to want the light...?

Ancient humans feared the deeper darkness of Winter...

Some people, even today, dread going to sleep at night...

They see it, as a form of succumbing to the darkness, which signifies death...

If darkness signifies death, then light signifies life...

Is that why I want the light...?

So, what of people who love rainy days...?

Does the gray/darkness of a rainy day, signify something else to them...?

A time of rest, perhaps...?

A time to rest up, for the coming vigor, of the light...?

Do you prefer light...?

Do you prefer a certain amount of gray/darkness...?

Or, does your preference change, with your mood and with the day...?

What do you prefer...?

And have you ever wondered why, you have this preference...?

Exapanding... Contracting... Expanding again...

The greenery is getting so thick, around the edge of the back yard, that it's almost closing in. I had it trimmed back, for a while. But sun and rain and Nature conspire to make everything grow and grow and grow. {Naturally}

So now, it's feeling like I'm in the 'Forest Primeval,' almost.

Well, not quite. Even with all the vines and small trees growing at our perimiter... And with the towering trees in neighborhood around us... We still have view of the sky, of course. But not such a view down the street and into other yards and etc. Or into windows down the street. It does feel almost like I'm cut off, by natural growing things. Time to get the young man who takes care of too much growing stuff, for us.

And I was thinking that this is almost a measure of {or picture of} my feelings at times. On one hand, feeling expansive and out-going to the world. Communication galore. Etc. And then, the feeling of contracting into my own little personal world. Of family and home and self and reading and contemplation. Which is the real place for me? Which is the real condition, for me?

Or...... does my needed condition actually change, as it seems to change? Is it simply 'my way', to feel expansive at times. And to feel close to home base at times, as well? Are both these conditions so-called- *proper* for me, but at different times? Should I simply accept that my needs change? Even over a short period of time?

Sure, our needs and wants change, over years. But maybe, it's fine if they change, over shorter periods of time... Maybe we expand and contract and expand again, in our soul almost...?

Maybe...?

Modertation...

Very sorry, but I have had to install comment moderation, for a while....

"I want's".... Even now

Contemplation.........

One would think that later years, would bring less of the "I want's." No, not necessarily. But the nature of our "I want's," may change.

The younger may desire material things... A house, car, lifestyle, etc., which better take care of their needs-in-the-then-present. Newer furniture... Newly painted walls... Help around the house... More personal disposable income for fun/frivolous things... Etc. Etc. Etc. Each one {of the younger}, has their own personal list of "I want's."

The older may desire less material things... Sure it's desirable to have reasonable health and a reasonably content life style. On the health issue, there's no need for me to be able to run marathons or have the body of a 30 year old. Nor is it necessary for me to have *umpteen* $$. Enough for reasonable comfort, in both areas, would take care of my now "I want's," along this line.

It's a different sort of "I want's," with which I have been dealing, for some years. Experiences. Experiences one never had. I've nebulously wanted certain experiences, over time. But there was always another day, to get up the courage to make sure I had them. Another hour, day, year, decade. But for a while now, time hasn't stretched out in front of me, in the same way. Time has a way of condensing into a more finite entity, with the years. It gets to where, it has to be now or never.

I have worked on many of my long held "I want's." And therefore, I have memories. The trouble comes with letting go and letting experiences slip completely into the realm of memory. The trouble comes with wanting to keep doing... when the time has come to cease.

As in all of life, we don't get all we want. Life wasn't meant to be a series of continuously chalked-up "I got's." And some of those experiences we did grab, fade easily into the realm of past events. But... some don't. Some "I want" experiences just don't *want to wave good bye,* to be relegated to living on, only in memory. Therein lies my 'Subject Line.' Some of my "I want's"... Even now. I continue to want them, in my life. But... I need to close the book on certain experiences, and relegate them totally to the 'land of memories.'

And it isn't easy....

-sigh-

And therein lie some of my present "I want's." Those not in the realm of 'now or never'. But rather, in the realm of 'letting go'....

So, maybe this means, we never lose all our "I want's." Their nature, just keeps shifting. But having them, seems to be part of being human, too. And dealing with them, part of our human work. A work, from which we can never wake up some morning and say; "I retire.... Give me 'the gold watch.' " :-)

And I happen to like it this way! I've always said that I never want to get to the point of being purrrrrrrrrfect. Or to the point of having 'done it all.' To me, that signifies 'the end.' And I also feel that it's not human, to desire 'the end.' Unless present pain is worse than it. And no one contemplates arriving at that point. We block that possible point, right out of our minds, in order to keep putting one foot in front of the other and going on.

Ahhhhh... all the things left, to contemplate! Even beginning my 8th decade! -smile-

Another of life's questions....

Along the path of life, we bump into many people. Some relationships come, with being born into a particular family. Some come from growing up in a neighborhood. Some from going to school, work, interests, activities, all the various things life exposes us to.

Some relationships blossom, grow and thrive. Some blossom quickly and then fade, just as quickly. And all forms and time spans, in-between.

What happens when we begin to feel that one relationship has lived its life course? But the other person, doesn't know this? -sigh- How to gently let it fade away?

At times, we may know this ~~ that the life course has been lived and should be fading away. But we don't have the courage to act on what we know. At times we even know that it would be best for us, if we acted on what we know. And we still have a hard time, doing it. Hurting someone's feelings is never an easy thing to do. No matter how much, that is not our intention, to hurt them. -sigh-

How to gently let it fade away................

Dichotomy....

Soooooo, what to write here, "In The Mind Of A Grandmother"?

How about the dichotomy of my music likes? I love classical music and am particularly fond {at the moment} of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

I also resonate to this by Darryl Worley.

No, I don't play the piano. Nor have I ever been in the military.

But I can love the sound of Moonlight Sonata.

And I can be constantly grateful to all those who have been and are and will be, in our military. And to those who wait for them, at home.

Young, in those days!

Title of this painting... Smeralda Bandinelli, Grandmother of the Sculptor Baccio Bandinelli, circa 1471

Wow! They had young looking Grandmothers, in those days!

But of course. No one lived very long and they started having children early.

Wonder how many people ever even saw gray or white hair?!?

A work in progress....

This is a work in progress... In many ways.